There are two types of rescuers – those who do good and those who think they are doing good. The latter wants to please others by trying to solve their problems. When this rescuer plays saviour it’s often to their own and others detriment.
This type of rescuer looks for an opportunity to help others with their health, finances, relationships and even happiness. And although their actions may seem altruistic and selfless – looking deeper often uncovers this rescuer’s own need for control, importance, self worth and even power.
When we rescue others we rob them of learning – learning in their way not ours. Everyone needs to learn through his or her own experiences or they don’t get the lesson. What we thought was help can be harm.
I’m not talking about an appropriate level of support, guidance and nurture. Not rescuing doesn’t mean we don’t help – on the contrary, it means we help in a different way.
When we rescue we control and disempower
When we support we guide and empower.
Successful and fulfilled people stay out of drama and focus on their own life plans, rather than trying to fix everybody around them.
Like the flight attendant giving the safety instructions “In case of an emergency, when the oxygen masks come down, look after yourself first”. Only then are you in a strong position to help and support others around you.
It all comes back to responsibility – support, guide and love others but don’t rescue!