Even though we are holding a space for non-believers it doesn’t mean we should rescue them. When we rescue non-believers it not only uses up our time and energy, but it can also rob the non-believer of an opportunity to learn and grow from encountering their own life experiences and setbacks.
There are two types of rescuers — those who do good and those who think they are doing good. The latter wants to please others by trying to solve their problems. When this rescuer plays saviour, it’s often to the detriment of both themselves and others.
Although a rescuers actions may seem altruistic and selfless — looking deeper often uncovers this rescuer’s own need for control, importance, self worth and even power.
When we rescue others, we rob them of learning — learning in their way, not ours. Everyone needs to learn through their own experiences or they don’t get the lesson. What we thought was help can be harm.
I’m not talking about an appropriate level of support, guidance and nurture. Not rescuing doesn’t mean we don’t help — on the contrary, it means we help in a different way.
- when we rescue non-believers we control and disempower
- when we support non-believers we guide and empower.
When we support non-believers to climb the ladder rather than rescuing, they are more likely to stay up the ladder. Successful and fulfilled people stay out of drama and focus on their own life plans, rather than trying to fix everybody around them.
Like the flight attendant giving the safety instructions: “In case of an emergency, when the oxygen masks come down, look after yourself first.” Only then are you in a strong position to help and support others around you.
Support guide and nurture, but don’t try to rescue non-believers!
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